[8,30] οὐδὲν ὢν τούτοις ὅμοιος τοῖς ἀθληταῖς—ποῦ γὰρ ἂν ἠδυνήθη προελθεῖν σάρκας τοσαύτας ἔχων ἢ τοσούτων κρεῶν δεόμενος ἢ βαθὺν οὕτως ὕπνον καθεύδων; —ἀλλ´ ἄγρυπνος καὶ λεπτός, ὥσπερ οἱ λέοντες, ὀξὺ βλέπων, ὀξὺ ἀκούων, οὔτε χειμῶνος οὔτε καύματος φροντίζων, οὐδὲν δεόμενος στρωμάτων ἢ χλανίδων ἢ ταπήτων, ἀλλὰ δέρμα ἀμπεχόμενος ῥυπαρόν, λιμοῦ πνέων, τοῖς ἀγαθοῖς βοηθῶν, τοὺς κακοὺς κολάζων. (8,31) καὶ Διομήδην δὲ τὸν Θρᾷκα, ὅτι ποικίλην εἶχεν ἐσθῆτα καὶ καθῆστο ἐπὶ θρόνου πίνων δι´ ἡμέρας καὶ τρυφῶν, καὶ τοὺς ξένους ἠδίκει καὶ τοὺς ὑφ´ αὑτῷ, πολλὴν ἵππον τρέφων, τῷ ῥοπάλῳ παίων διήραξεν ὥσπερ πίθον παλαιόν. καὶ τὸν Γηρυόνην, πλείστους βοῦς ἔχοντα καὶ τῶν πρὸς ἑσπέρας ἁπάντων πλουσιώτατον ὄντα καὶ ὑπερηφανώτατον, αὐτόν τε ἀπέκτεινε καὶ τοὺς ἀδελφοὺς καὶ τὰς βοῦς ἀπήλασε. (8,32) τὸν δὲ Βούσιριν εὑρὼν πάνυ ἐπιμελῶς ἀθλοῦντα καὶ δι´ ὅλης ἡμέρας ἐσθίοντα καὶ φρονοῦντα μέγιστον ἐπὶ πάλῃ, διέρρηξεν ἐπὶ τὴν γῆν καταβαλὼν ὥσπερ τοὺς θυλάκους τοὺς σφόδρα γέμοντας. καὶ τῆς Ἀμαζόνος ἔλυσε τὴν ζώνην, θρυπτομένης αὐτῷ καὶ νομιζούσης ὅτι τῷ κάλλει κρατήσει, συγγενόμενος δ´ 〈ἀπῄει〉 δείξας ὅτι οὐκ ἄν ποτε ἡττηθείη κάλλους οὐδ´ ἂν μείνειε χάριν γυναικὸς πόρρω τῶν αὑτοῦ κτημάτων οὐδέποτε. (8,33) τὸν δὲ Προμηθέα, σοφιστήν τινα, ἐμοὶ δοκεῖν, καταλαβὼν ὑπὸ δόξης ἀπολλύμενον, {καὶ} νῦν μὲν οἰδοῦντος αὐτῷ καὶ αὔξοντος τοῦ ἥπατος, ὁπότε ἐπαινοῖτο, πάλιν δὲ φθίνοντος, ὁπότε ψέγοιεν αὐτόν, ἐλεήσας καὶ φοβήσας * ἔπαυσε τοῦ τύφου καὶ τῆς φιλονικίας· καὶ οὕτως ᾤχετο ὑγιᾶ ποιήσας. ταῦτα μὲν οὖν ἔπραττεν οὐδὲν Εὐρυσθεῖ χαριζόμενος. (8,34) τὰ δὲ μῆλα τὰ χρυσᾶ ἃ ἐκόμισε λαβὼν ἔδωκεν ἐκείνῳ, τὰ τῶν Ἑσπερίδων· οὐδὲν γὰρ αὐτῶν ἐδεῖτο, ἀλλ´ ἐκέλευσε κλάειν ἔχοντα. μηδὲν γὰρ ὄφελος εἶναι ἀνθρώπῳ χρυσῶν μήλων· μηδὲ γὰρ ταῖς Ἑσπερίσι γενέσθαι. πέρας δέ, ἐπεὶ βραδύτερος ἐγίγνετο καὶ ἀσθενέστερος αὑτοῦ, φοβούμενος μὴ οὐ δύνηται ζῆν ὁμοίως, ἔπειτα οἶμαι νόσου τινὸς καταλαβούσης κάλλιστα ἀνθρώπων ἐθεράπευσεν αὑτόν, πυρὰν νήσας ἐν τῇ αὐλῇ ξύλων ὡς ξηροτάτων καὶ δείξας ὅτι οὐδὲν ἄξιον ἐφρόντιζε τοῦ πυρετοῦ. (8,35) πρότερον δέ, ἵνα μὴ δοκῇ σεμνὰ 〈μόνον〉 καὶ μεγάλα ἔργα διαπράττεσθαι, τὴν κόπρον ἀπελθὼν τὴν κειμένην παρ´ Αὐγέᾳ, πολύ τι χρῆμα πολλῶν ἐτῶν, ἐκείνην ἐξεφόρει καὶ ἐκάθαιρεν. ἡγεῖτο γὰρ οὐχ ἧττον αὑτῷ διαμαχητέον εἶναι καὶ πολεμητέον πρὸς τὴν δόξαν ἢ τὰ θηρία καὶ τῶν ἀνθρώπων τοὺς κακούργους. (8,36) ταῦτα δὲ λέγοντος τοῦ Διογένους, περιίσταντο πολλοὶ καὶ πάνυ ἡδέως ἠκροῶντο τῶν λόγων. ἐννοήσας δὲ οἶμαι τὸ τοῦ Ἡρακλέους, τοὺς μὲν λόγους ἀφῆκε, χαμαὶ δὲ καθεζόμενος ἐποίει τι τῶν ἀδόξων. εὐθὺς οὖν οἱ πολλοὶ κατεφρόνουν αὐτοῦ καὶ μαίνεσθαι ἔφασαν, καὶ πάλιν ἐθορύβουν σοφισταί, καθάπερ ἐν τέλματι βάτραχοι τὸν ὕδρον οὐχ ὁρῶντες.

[8,30] though he did not look at all like any of these athletes; for where could he have penetrated, had he carried so much flesh or required so much meat or drink into such depths of sleep? No, he was as alert and lean like a lion, keen of eye and ear, recking naught of cold or heat, having no use for bed, (p395) shawl, or rug, clad in a dirty skin, with an air of hunger about him, as he succoured the good and punished the bad. 31 And because Diomede, the Thracian, wore such fine raiment and sat upon a throne drinking the livelong day in high revel, and treated strangers unrighteously as well as his own subjects, and kept a large stable, Heracles smote him with his club and smashed him as if he had been an old jar. Then Geryones, who had ever so many cattle and was the richest of all western lords and the most arrogant, he also killed along with his brothers and drove his cattle away. 32 And when he found Busiris very diligently training, eating the whole day long, and exceeding proud of his wrestling, Heracles burst him open like an over-filled bag by dashing him to the ground. He loosed the girdle of the Amazon, who tried to coquet with him and thought to win by means of her beauty. For he both consorted with her and made her understand that he could never be overcome by beauty and would never tarry far away from his own possessions for a woman's sake. 33 And Prometheus, whom I take to have been a sort of sophist, he found being destroyed by popular opinion; for his liver swelled and grew whenever he was praised and shrivelled again when he was censured. So he took (p397) pity on him, frightened --- , and thus relieved him of his vanity and inordinate ambition; and straightway he disappeared after making him whole. "Now in all those exploits he was not doing a favour to Eurystheus at all. 34 And as to the golden apples that he got and brought back — I mean those of the Hesperides — he did give them to him, since he had no use for them himself, but told him to keep them and go hang; for he explained that apples of gold are of no use to a man, nor had the Hesperides, either, found them to be. Then, finally, when he was growing ever slower and weaker, from fear that he would not be able to live as before, and besides, I suppose, because he was attacked by some disease, he made the best provision that was humanly possible for himself, for he reared a pyre of the very driest wood in the courtyard and showed that he minded the fiery heat precious little. 35 But before that, to avoid creating the opinion that he did only impressive and mighty deeds, he went and removed and cleaned away the dung in the Augean stables, that immense accumulation of many years. For he considered that he ought to fight stubbornly and war against opinion as much as against wild beasts and wicked men." 36 While Diogenes thus spoke, many stood about and listened to his words with great pleasure. Then, (p399) possibly with this thought of Heracles in his mind, he ceased speaking and, squatting on the ground, performed an indecent act, whereat the crowd straightway scorned him and called him crazy, and again the sophists raised their din, like frogs in a pond when they do not see the water-snake.