[6,10] πυρὶ δὲ ἢ σκιᾷ ἢ σκέπῃ σπανίως ἐχρῆτο, οὐ προλαμβάνων τὸν καιρόν, οὐδὲ ὥσπερ οἱ ἄλλοι ἄνθρωποι, ὅτι μὲν ἔξεστιν αὐτοῖς ἀεὶ πῦρ καίειν, εὐποροῦσι δὲ ἐσθῆτος, ἔχουσι δὲ οἰκίας, ἐὰν καὶ μικρὸν αἴσθωνται ψύχους, εὐθὺς ἀποδιδράσκουσι τὸν ἀέρα καὶ τὰ σώματα ἀχρεῖα ποιοῦσι καὶ ἀδύνατα ἀνέχεσθαι χειμῶνος, (6,11) ὅτι δὲ ἔξεστιν αὐτοῖς σκιᾷ μὲν ἀφθόνῳ χρῆσθαι τοῦ θέρους, πίνειν δὲ οἶνον ὁπόσον βούλονται, διὰ τοῦτο ἄπειροι μὲν ἡλίου διατελοῦσιν, ἄπειροι δὲ τοῦ διψῆν κατὰ φύσιν, οἰκότροφοι μὲν οὐχ ἧττον τῶν γυναικῶν, ἄπονοι δὲ καὶ ἀργοὶ τὰ σώματα, κραιπάλης δὲ καὶ λήθης τὰς ψυχὰς γέμοντες. ὅθεν δὴ καὶ ἐπιμηχανῶνται αὑτοῖς καὶ σιτία πονηρὰ καὶ βαλανεῖα τούτου χάριν, τῆς δ´ αὐτῆς ἡμέρας πολλάκις δέονται μὲν ἀνέμου, δέονται δὲ ἐσθῆτος, δέονται δὲ ὁμοῦ χιόνος καὶ πυρός, τὸ δὲ πάντων ἀτοπώτατον, ἐπιθυμοῦσι καὶ λιμοῦ καὶ δίψους. (6,12) ἀκόλαστοι δὲ ὄντες οὐχ ἥδονται ἀφροδισίοις διὰ τὸ μὴ περιμένειν ὀρέγεσθαι αὐτῶν· ὅθεν ζητοῦσιν ἀχαρίτους καὶ ἀτερπεῖς ἡδονάς. ὁ δὲ λιμῷ μὲν ἐχρῆτο καὶ δίψει πρὸ τῆς τροφῆς ἑκάστοτε, καὶ ἐνόμιζε τοῦτο ἱκανώτατον καὶ δριμύτατον τῶν ὄψων. τοιγαροῦν ἥδιον μὲν προσεφέρετο μᾶζαν ἢ οἱ ἄλλοι τὰ πολυτελέστατα τῶν σιτίων, ἥδιον δὲ ἔπινε τοῦ ῥέοντος ὕδατος ἢ οἱ ἄλλοι τὸν Θάσιον οἶνον. (6,13) κατεγέλα δὲ τῶν, ὁπότε διψῷεν, τὰς μὲν κρήνας παρερχομένων, ζητούντων δὲ πάντως ὁπόθεν ὠνήσονται Χῖον ἢ Λέσβιον, καὶ πολὺ ἔφασκεν ἀφρονεστέρους εἶναι τῶν βοσκημάτων· ἐκεῖνα γὰρ οὐδέποτε διψῶντα κρήνην οὐδὲ ῥεῦμα καθαρὸν παρελθεῖν οὐδὲ πεινῶντα ἀπέχεσθαι τῶν ἁπαλωτάτων φύλλων καὶ πόας τῆς ἱκανῆς τρέφειν· (6,14) οἰκίας δὲ τὰς καλλίστας καὶ ὑγιεινοτάτας ἐν ἁπάσαις ταῖς πόλεσιν ἔχειν ἀναπεπταμένας τά τε ἱερὰ καὶ τὰ γυμνάσια. ἱμάτιον δὲ ἓν ἐξήρκει τοῦ θέρους αὐτῷ καὶ τοῦ χειμῶνος· τοῦ γὰρ ἀέρος ἠνείχετο ῥᾳδίως, ἅτε δὴ συνήθης αὐτῷ γενόμενος. (6,15) τοὺς δὲ πόδας οὐδέποτε ἔσκεπεν· οὐ γὰρ ἔφη τρυφερωτέρους εἶναι τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν καὶ τοῦ προσώπου. ταῦτα γάρ, ἀσθενέστατα πεφυκότα, μάλιστα ἀνέχεσθαι τὸ ψῦχος διὰ τὸ γυμνοῦσθαι ἀεί· μὴ γὰρ εἶναι τοῖς ἀνθρώποις δυνατὸν καταδησαμένους τὰ ὄμματα βαδίζειν, ὥσπερ τοὺς πόδας. ἔφη δὲ τοὺς πλουσίους ὁμοίους εἶναι τοῖς νεογνοῖς βρέφεσι· δεῖσθαι γὰρ ἀεί ποτε σπαργάνων. (6,16) ὑπὲρ οὗ δὲ πλεῖστα μὲν πράγματα ἔχουσιν ἄνθρωποι, πλεῖστα δὲ χρήματα ἀναλίσκουσι, πολλαὶ δὲ ἀνάστατοι πόλεις διὰ ταῦτα γεγόνασι, πολλὰ δὲ ἔθνη τούτων ἕνεκεν οἰκτρῶς ἀπόλωλεν, ἁπάντων ἐκείνῳ χρημάτων ἀπονώτατον ἦν καὶ ἀδαπανώτατον. (6,17) οὐ γὰρ ἔδει αὐτὸν οὐδαμόσε ἐλθεῖν ἀφροδισίων ἕνεκεν, ἀλλὰ παίζων ἔλεγεν ἁπανταχοῦ παρεῖναι αὐτῷ τὴν Ἀφροδίτην προῖκα· τοὺς δὲ ποιητὰς καταψεύδεσθαι τῆς θεοῦ διὰ τὴν αὑτῶν ἀκρασίαν, πολύχρυσον καλοῦντας. ἐπεὶ δὲ πολλοὶ τοῦτο ἠπίστουν, ἐν τῷ φανερῷ ἐχρῆτο καὶ πάντων ὁρώντων· καὶ ἔλεγεν ὡς εἴπερ οἱ ἄνθρωποι οὕτως εἶχον, οὐκ ἂν ἑάλω ποτὲ ἡ Τροία, οὐδ´ ἂν ὁ Πρίαμος ὁ Φρυγῶν βασιλεύς, ἀπὸ Διὸς γεγονώς, ἐπὶ τῷ βωμῷ τοῦ Διὸς ἐσφάγη. (6,18) τοὺς δὲ Ἀχαιοὺς οὕτως εἶναι ἄφρονας ὥστε καὶ τοὺς νεκροὺς νομίζειν προσδεῖσθαι γυναικῶν καὶ τὴν Πολυξένην σφάττειν ἐπὶ τῷ τάφῳ τοῦ Ἀχιλλέως. ἔφη δὲ τοὺς ἰχθύας σχεδόν τι φρονιμωτέρους φαίνεσθαι τῶν ἀνθρώπων· ὅταν γὰρ δέωνται τὸ σπέρμα ἀποβαλεῖν, ἰόντας ἔξω προσκνᾶσθαι πρὸς τὸ τραχύ. (6,19) θαυμάζειν δὲ τῶν ἀνθρώπων τὸ τὸν μὲν πόδα μὴ θέλειν ἀργυρίου κνᾶσθαι μηδὲ τὴν χεῖρα μηδὲ ἄλλο μηδὲν τοῦ σώματος, μηδὲ τοὺς πάνυ πλουσίους ἀναλῶσαι ἂν μηδεμίαν ὑπὲρ τούτου δραχμήν· ἓν δὲ ἐκεῖνο τὸ μέρος πολλάκις πολλῶν ταλάντων, τοὺς δέ τινας ἤδη καὶ τῇ ψυχῇ παραβαλλομένους.

[6,10] He rarely made use of heat, shade, or shelter in anticipation of the proper seasons for them, nor did he do as others do, who, because they may light a fire any time and are well supplied with clothes and own houses, run away at once from the open air at the least sensation of cold, thus enfeebling their bodies and making them incapable of enduring the winter's cold, 11 or, on the other hand, because it is possible for them to enjoy abundant shade in the summer-time and drink all the wine they wish, on that account never expose themselves to the sun, never experience a natural thirst, keep to the house just as much as women do, are inactive and sluggish of body, and have their souls steeped in a drunken stupor. This is why they devise for themselves both unwholesome menus and baths to counteract the bad effects of these, and within the same twenty-four hours they often want both a breeze and heavy clothing; they want ice and fire at one and the same time, and — what is most absurd of all — they long for both hunger and thirst. 12 And though they are incontinent, they find no delight in love because they do not wait till they desire it naturally; consequently the pleasures they seek are devoid of satisfaction and are joyless. Diogenes, however, always waited until he was hungry or thirsty before he partook of nourishment, and he thought that hunger was the most satisfactory and pungent of appetizers. And so he used to (p259) partake of a barley cake with greater pleasure than others did of the costliest of foods, and enjoyed a drink from a stream of running water more than others did their Thasian wine. 13 He scorned those who would pass by a spring when thirsty and move heaven and earth to find where they could buy Chian or Lesbian wine; and he used to say that such persons were far sillier than cattle, since these creatures never pass by a spring or a clear brook when thirsty or, when hungry, disdain the tenderest leaves or grass enough to nourish them. 14 He also said that the most beautiful and healthful houses were open to him in every city: to wit, the temples and the gymnasia. And one garment was all he needed for both summer and winter, for he endured the cold weather easily because he had become used to it. 15 He never protected his feet, either, because they were no more sensitive, he claimed, than his eyes and face. For these parts, though by nature most delicate, endured the cold very well on account of their constant exposure; for men could not possibly walk after binding their eyes as they did their feet. He used to say, too, that rich men were like new-born babes; both were in constant need of swaddling-clothes. 16 That for which men gave themselves the most trouble and spent the most money, which caused the razing of many cities and the pitiful destruction of many nations — this he found the least laborious and most inexpensive of all things to procure. 17 For he did not have to go anywhere for his sexual gratification but, as he humorously put it, he found Aphrodite everywhere, without expense; (p261) and the poets libelled the goddess, he maintained, on account of their own want of self-control, when they called her "the all-golden." And since many doubted this boast, he gave a public demonstration before the eyes of all, saying that if men were like himself, Troy would never have been taken, nor Priam, king of the Phrygians and a descendant of Zeus, been slain at the altar of Zeus. 18 But the Achaeans had been such fools as to believe that even dead men found women indispensable and so slew Polyxena at the tomb of Achilles. Fish showed themselves more sensible than men almost; for whenever they needed to eject their sperm, they went out of doors and rubbed themselves against something rough. 19 He marvelled that while men were unwilling to pay out money to have a leg or arm or any other part of their body rubbed, that while not even the very rich would spend a single drachma for this purpose, yet on that one member they spent many talents time and again and some had even risked their lives in the bargain.